You tried to dilute your sense of difference just to fit in. You choked your throat to mute your voice that desired freedom.
Freedom from the misappropriation of humiliation and humor.
Freedom from fear of being left out of the clique.
Freedom from not wanting to be a loner.
You fancied to be the refrain of a well-knit love song.
But you'd bleed fitting between the lines that aren't harmonious to you.
Then one day,
You accidentally discovered the peace of not struggling. You started speaking to point out ill- intentioned humor. Going around the formula of happiness, you finally found the missing ingredient; "CHOICE".
You chose to be surrounded by friends who strengthened your spine, and not hit it with unwanted criticism.
You chose to put your preference of having a healthy bond above having a large circle to flaunt on the gram.
You chose to eliminate anything that poisoned your peace.
The process was tough I know, I have been there a few times too.
You met people who called you sad for embracing your newfound possessions; peace, solitude and strength.
You met friends whose friendship subtracted your self-acceptance. You burnt ties that existed for long, but just as a habit and not necessity. I understand burning an old picture gives out smoke, it floods your eyes with tears, but tears of ripping off a parasite is better than bandaging deep cuts of self destruction.
I know people might have made you introspect your own "oversensitive" interpretations but I want you to know that a wrist lovingly held never leaves the skin blue. Your skin has been icy blue for years and demanding to have blood flushing through - it is not something you should be conscious about, you deserve it.
You've come a long way. You'll soon step into a new level of life, and I want you to be unapologetic for what you want and what you deserve. Sooner or later you'll find the few who'll be worth your blues and reds and greens and all the colors your mind brightly projects. But please try not to walk back.
You are a poem written to be read and felt, so never become a newspaper article compressed between screaming headlines dying for attention.