“It’s alright!” she says. “You can fit in here. You just need to adjust. I know it’s a little hard but it’s free, it’s all you’ve got and that’s where you should be.”
As much as I tried, I couldn’t fit into the palms of the woman who I always wished would be able to hold me. Her rough, small hands didn’t make a cup enough for me to fit into snuggly with the amount of energy I was already suppressing to be the size that she wants me to be.
“No more”, a voice inside me whispered yet again and I burst out wide, open, and free into the vast space of the universe. No more a shining star to the world but an enormous mass of dark energy swirling around in the endless void. Now the potential was reached. Now, she could be anything, do anything.
The woman stood in the corner.
Distraught, broken and disappointed.
“I’m not your star.
I haven’t been for a long, long time.
I held it all in me, for you.
Just so you’d be there to welcome me!
But no, I was never enough.”
“This is who I am.
All darkness, violence, and chaos.
A black, dark hole inside me.
I could be more. So much more.
But not today. Today I am enough.
Just enough for me.
And that is all one needs.”